DINING AND ENTERTAINMENT ABOARD ms AMSTERDAM

We spend approximately four months onboard ms Amsterdam for our world cruise and must necessarily depend on the ship’s crew to provide most of our meals.  Cruise ship dining is legendary for its quantity (all you can eat), and sometimes for its quality, too.  So how is ms Amsterdam doing?  Here’s a 2.5-day “sampling” of our dining experiences –  from worst to first – along with my preliminary “take” on the entertainment options onboard the ship (i.e., next to none):

IN-ROOM DINING
         After a long day in Recife, we decided to stay in the night of Jan. 16th and order room service, which is available 24 hours a day.  I’d had the salmon and capers already, one of my “brunch” favorites.  I got an ever-so-slightly toasted bagel, which was cold and chewy by the time it reached my room.  I once ordered ham and eggs over medium and got them over hard.  The “hash browns” weren’t hash browns at all – they were a potato cake, ala Arby’s or Jack In The Box.
         This time, I tried the French onion soup.  There was no French bread or cheese on top – key ingredients!  The soup was barely warm and lacking a robust beefy flavor.  The salad was edible – your basic lettuce, tomato and cucumber mix (I skip the sprouts and blue cheese).  But the tuna melt, oh my.  It was cold and the bread chewy.  The French fries were cold and, therefore, disgusting.  Yuk.  I ate a couple bites and left the rest for the sea turtles … good thing we’d had that nice Brazilian barbeque on our tour!  In summary, the room service food is only for the desperate or foolhardy!  Thank God they leave fruit in our room (a variety of apples, oranges, bananas and pears).

• LIDO RESTAURANT

        After a Swedish massage today, I met Bill for lunch at “the Lido” – a buffet-style, come-as-you-are restaurant.  Here are some photos.  I had a salad from the small salad bar, which was quite good.  Then, I had what they called spaghetti, but was actually linguini.  It was warm (a good thing, not to be taken for granted on this ship).  But the meat sauce was plain and lacking Italian spice or a tomato base.  Even after an attempted “repair” -- by adding marinara and parmesan cheese -- it was only fair.  They gave me so much of it that I didn’t feel “right” not finishing it and trying something else.  I ate a few bites and left it at that.  They also have cold-cut sandwiches, a couple Asian dishes and a dessert bar.
 

• LA FONTAINE (MAIN DINING ROOM)

        Dinner is served nightly at 5:30 pm and 8 pm in HAL’s two-story main dining room, called “La Fontaine”.  On my prior Royal Caribbean cruise, we had (1) a head waiter, (2) an assistant waiter, (3) a wine steward, (4) a cocktail waitress, and (5) a maître de.  I was blown away by the world class service!  Here, we have one waiter, one person to serve wine and cocktails, and a restaurant manager.  We see the waiter and wine steward nightly.  I’ve seen the manager a couple times since we left.  As expected, the service is slower than on Royal Caribbean, and our food is often cool by the time it reaches our table (e.g., one of the best meals thus far included lobster, but the lobster wasn’t hot).  You might see the “drink man” once or twice per dinner service; he’s busy with other tables.  Our servers do try hard and are extremely friendly, as are all the staff onboard the ship.
         So what about the food?  We start each dinner service with a basket of cold/often hard breads.  To me, the best bread is warm sourdough rolls with butter, piping hot/fresh garlic bread, freshly baked rosemary bread with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, etc.  I requested garlic bread one night, and our waiter handed it to me, saying, “this is hot”.  It was cold and hard as a rock.  It would have made a great crouton – or topper for that French onion soup!  On Royal Caribbean, we were served 5-course meals in the dining room.  Everyone got (1) an appetizer, (2) soup, (3) salad, (4) entrée, and (5) dessert.  Here, dinner is served in 3 courses, roughly including an appetizer, soup or salad, and entrée (dessert also comes later).  The food almost always looks pretty.  Sometimes, it tastes good too -- but this is a “hit” and “miss” proposition.  Tonight, I had a lobster bisque, which was pretty good.  It would have been better if I had a warm sourdough roll.  The brie was mild and tasty, and the beef tenderloin was also good.  My best summary:  looks great, tastes good.
         Unfortunately, the cocktails are “pre-packaged”.  Order a pina colada, and you’ll get a pre-made mix of sugary “goo”.  Is it really that hard to blend together some ice with fresh pineapple juice, cream de coconut and rum?  I asked for a Mai Thai and got a glass of punch; I couldn’t even taste the rum.  One night, I requested a coffee drink with Grand Marnier and Tia Maria.  I got a wine glass, filled with what tasted like sludge!  I couldn’t taste the liquors, and the “drink man” said the coffee in the dining room isn’t as good as it is at Explorations Café (their version of a Starbucks, where one has to pay for coffee).  You also have to pay (app. $2.50) if you want a soda.  I finally gave up on getting decent cocktails and started ordering Corona Beer and wine.  To get my wine, I had to return to my room to retrieve “proof” that I’d ordered a wine package.

• POOLSIDE “TERRACE” GRILL

         The least formal of our dining venues is a cart and grill near the pool.  They serve pizza, tacos, hamburgers and hot dogs.  And wouldn’t you know, this is where we find one of the best things we’ve had onboard:  a hot dog!  This isn’t just “any” hot dog, but a tasty grilled hot dog!  Yum!!  The “make your own” tacos aren’t bad, either.  The pizza is edible, but tastes more like grease than anything else.  This grill is “come as you are”:  shorts, jeans, swimwear – which, by itself, makes eating here a “treat”!!

• PINNACLE GRILL

        The Pinnacle Grill is HAL’s “finest” restaurant, for which guests must pay $25/person extra – on a normal night.  For “theme” nights, it goes up to $69/person.  They also have several events called, “An Evening at Le Cirque”, which costs $39/person ($59 if you want the “wine pairings” with your meal).  Wanting to experience everything, I booked the first Le Cirque night on Wed., Jan. 18th.  Some photos follow.  I had Rack of Lamb, and Bill had Chateaubriand.  The meat dishes were both exceptionally good – great, in fact!  The champagne was excellent, the red wine was good, and the white wine was fine (I prefer red).  The dessert was the next best thing – Bill had a chocolate soufflé, and I had crème brulee.  The rest of the dishes seemed a bit odd to us (e.g., I love shrimp and lobster, but don't generally eat it cold without any sauce or seasoning for flavor.)  Overall, it was one of the best dinners yet!

• ONBOARD ENTERTAINMENT

       This is a great place to be IF you’re “older”.  They offer watercolor, knitting and bridge classes, aqua aerobics, bingo, team trivia, jewelry presentations, afternoon tea, flower arranging, arts and crafts, foxtrot classes, a book club, etc.  They even offer programs on how to improve your memory or to prevent heart attacks and strokes.  The big evening shows and formal nights feature Lawrence Welk type music, violins, Disney music, etc.  I call it “music to die by” (remember Titanic – the violinists played as the ship sunk?).  We ventured up to the “Crow’s Nest” last night, which is supposed to be the “fun” nightclub – and they were playing 50’s music!  Yikes!  They’re all “worked up” for Doc Severinsen tonight (remember Johnny Carson’s side-kick?).   Is he still alive?!  There is no good/fun music anywhere!!  If I never hear another violin during my lifetime, I’ll be just fine with that!
        For the “under 60-70” crowd (a small demographic, as it turns out), there are “Digital Workshop” classes, ping pong, “Bocce Ball” (whatever that is), tennis, swimming/jacuzzi, Wii – IF I make it to the right place at the right time.  Wish me luck …  They have the least fun casino I’ve ever played at:  you put $100 in the machine and watch it disappear.  I haven’t seen or heard a single “happy” person in the casino.  I’ve gambled less since I got on this ship than in the last few years!  It’s just not fun if you have no chance of winning.  The yoga and pilates would be great, if they didn’t cost $12 per class!  Haven’t they charged me enough for everything else? We already have to pay for water, soda, even coffee!   Unfortunately, they don’t even have TV programs that we love to watch, because they don’t have ABC, NBC, CBS or Fox!  None of them!  Like your commercial-free movie channels?  Forget about those here!  They have several stations promoting HAL and its shore excursions instead.  In the “movie theatre” (which doubles as a culinary arts stage during the day), there are three small-screen TV’s where they show a movie each evening.  It’s not a real movie theatre, offering a large screen and exceptional sound system.
         Everyone goes to bed at like 11 pm here.  It’s downright creepy!!

• OVERALL IMPRESSIONS

        With cruise ship dining, they’re feeding 1,000+ people all the time.  One doesn’t get “made-to-order” meals (i.e., where you walk into the restaurant, choose what you want from a full and varied menu, wait while they cook it for you, and then enjoy a hot, fresh meal made just for you).  This is “food for the masses” (and we’re the cattle, sticking our heads into the trough twice a day).  On the positive side, they go out of their way to make the food sound and look extremely appealing.   We can order as much of it as we want –  when it’s good enough to make you want more.  Its high points are the hot dogs, Pinnacle Grill, friendly service wherever you go, and any food or drink item that doesn’t require someone prepare it (e.g., salads, fruit, beer/wine).  Once they start “tinkering” with the food or drinks, the outcome can be great, or a disaster.
          The entertainment is geared almost exclusively to the elderly.  I may start dancing on tabletops soon, just to liven things up …!  My new friend, Erika (age 32), has adapted well to the environment.  For me, this is a work in progress … I stay in my room most of the time.
          If you’re considering a cruise on the Amsterdam, the onboard dining may not be such a high point, unless you want to pay $25/each per night to eat at the Pinnacle Grill.  If you’re under 60 or 70, don’t expect a lot of “fun” onboard entertainment.  That doesn’t mean you’ll want to  “jump ship”, either.  You won’t gain weight, but you won’t starve, either.  You won’t have loads of fun (at least onboard), but you’ll find some way to pass the time (blogging, perhaps) until you arrive at the next amazing destination.  And you’ll still enjoy the incredible weather, the swish of the ocean, the spa and the fact that you’re not working or cleaning your own house.

• A COUPLE IMAGES FROM OUR ROOM